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Another difficult issue for me is…..can I love another that I do not “like”? We have lots of feelings toward others – admiration, respect, like, and love….many others can trigger a mental or emotional response that is/are positive. There is no longer room in my heart/mind for hate and I may have abandoned thinking of any others as personal “enemies”….but that does not mean I like everybody I know or meet. Should I learn….can we learn…to find a way to also like others who we find annoying, disloyal, filled with anger, blame, and hate for others, those who do not accept any responsibility for their bad choices imposed upon others, those who steal and kill and lie and cheat, and those who have self-opted out of the kingdom of believers who may have a flicker but appear dark and dangerous?
Can I “love” someone’s potential and inner bastion of the Father and yet dislike the character/person at the same time? Perplexing. Did Jesus like everyone? I’m confounded on this one. There are people I shun and people who deliberately hurt others, including those I cherish and admire and respect. I am past feeling threatened by disagreement….unique perspective is important and I can learn much about things, people, and myself in disagreement and manage my ego in such cases, and even like and admire those with whom I disagree. But I don’t like everyone I meet or know.
Thanks for your consideration and comments.
Did Jesus like everyone?
Doesn’t it come down to a matter of trust? I define my enemies as those who have proven themselves to be unworthy of my trust, those who have betrayed me, who have been disloyal to my friendship. I have enemies whom I like, and some I love, but they remain enemies in that they cannot ever be trusted. Without trust there can be no friendship. Jesus did not trust some people, Herod for one, and walked away from friendships which were toxic, Annas for one.
67:1.3 And of all forms of evil, none are more destructive of personality status than betrayal of trust and disloyalty to one’s confiding friends
126:5.7 And for such an unjust decision Jesus never again trusted Herod Antipas. It is not surprising that he once alluded to Herod as “that fox.”
140:0.2 The first day in Jerusalem Jesus called upon his friend of former years, Annas, the onetime high priest and relative of Salome, Zebedee’s wife. Annas had been hearing about Jesus and his teachings, and when Jesus called at the high priest’s home, he was received with much reserve. When Jesus perceived Annas’s coldness, he took immediate leave, saying as he departed: “Fear is man’s chief enslaver and pride his great weakness; will you betray yourself into bondage to both of these destroyers of joy and liberty?” But Annas made no reply. The Master did not again see Annas until the time when he sat with his son-in-law in judgment on the Son of Man.
Yes, Bonita. I concur that trust is a main feature in relationships when we consider whether friend or foe. And I appreciate your comment: “I have enemies whom I like, and some I love, but they remain enemies in that they cannot ever be trusted.”
Sometimes people chose to oppose someone and they make decisions or take action to inhibit, restrict, oppose, endanger or even threaten physical harm to someone. As Jesus modeled so well, we are to love them anyway. A friend many years ago, participating in a similar discussion, once said, “We’re supposed to love ’em, but you don’t have to like ’em!” Living as Jesus so well modeled is really tough sometimes. Its difficult to trust someone you don’t like.
Thanks for your good reminder!
Thanks Bonita and Mark (and Bradly, Andre and Mara)!
Brings to mind the concept of someone “whom only a mother could love“.
As siblings (with every soul on board), we’re free to feel offended or perturbed when our beliefs or needs or space get interfered with. But Michael and his Divine Mins have no beliefs or needs to be disturbed. To them, each of us trillions of their children are either (A) progressing, or (B) going nowhere. Either way, their love for us baby persons is the same.
What differs are the opportunities that can be made available. For those of us not progressing (i.e., “whom only a mother could love“), our Nebadon parents have contracted with Paradise Oversight to sort it all out. But for those of us inching along step by baby step, opportunities can be tailored to fit motion godward.
Does loving one’s enemies involve graduating from brotherly to fatherly love ?
“The Master introduced this momentous discourse by calling attention to four faith attitudes as the prelude to the subsequent portrayal of his four transcendent and supreme reactions of fatherly love in contrast to the limitations of mere brotherly love.” (1573.6, 140:5.4)
Nigel
As the Urantia Book indicates that “trust” is associated with “spirit” and linked to “suspicion” where if a person is trusted by one then there is no suspicion as to possible future action from one to another. In other words, having trust in others or a one, is to know that one based on previous actions or responses when there is interaction. One may be surprised at another’s actions when those actions go outside of the known norm or the comfortable understanding of past associations. Suspicion may develop and can be interchanged to untrusting thoughts when surprises occur in relationships but, they may be the result of one’s own insecurities about what one thinks they know or have not remembered about another person, when changes occur, whereby the person being suspect of another’s motives or actions, may be a form of complacency in themselves which needs to be analyzed from or with the spirit within.
I recently encountered such an issue with a member of my own immediate family and their actions were at first suspicious and my sense of mistrust became overdeveloped where I was not sure as to what to expect next from this person. In various attempts to provoke an emotional response, in order to ascertain the underlying cause of these actions, I was able to determine that I had become complacent to obvious signs which were evident of many years in the past. I had experienced with this person that they were subject to TIA’s (Transient Ischemic Attacks) and that, from more recent events, having been subjected to her fathers suffering of many strokes and eventual death, that these symptoms may also be inherent. Nevertheless, this persons memories had been faltering for some time and in previous years we were concerned that she may have been pre-symptomatic of having MS or signs of Alzheimer’s but, with my most resent encounter, did not remember these things until insult became injury. My mind was full of suspicion and mistrust until I changed my attitude and attempted to look at this situation from a different perspective, having allowed my previous experiences, as mentioned above, to become part of the whole picture and, was able to present a more supportive role, which eventually paid off in the end and the symptoms subsided into a mutual communication which allowed for a more open understanding of the issues. What seemed to be a mistrust by all parties turned into a loving understanding by all involved and those actions became a more mutual loving support which is now based on knowledge.
(437.6) 39:5.7 4. The Spirits of Trust. Suspicion is the inherent reaction of primitive men; the survival struggles of the early ages do not naturally breed trust. Trust is a new human acquisition brought about by the ministry of these planetary seraphim of the Adamic regime. It is their mission to inculcate trust into the minds of evolving men. The Gods are very trustful; the Universal Father is willing freely to trust himself — the Adjuster — to man’s association.
(438.1) 39:5.8 This entire group of seraphim was transferred to the new regime after the Adamic miscarriage, and they have ever since continued their labors on Urantia. And they have not been wholly unsuccessful since a civilization is now evolving which embodies much of their ideals of confidence and trust.
(438.2) 39:5.9 In the more advanced planetary ages these seraphim enhance man’s appreciation of the truth that uncertainty is the secret of contented continuity. They help the mortal philosophers to realize that, when ignorance is essential to success, it would be a colossal blunder for the creature to know the future. They heighten man’s taste for the sweetness of uncertainty, for the romance and charm of the indefinite and unknown future.
Mistrust and suspicion can also be based on one’s “assumptions” about another’s motives and actions, where these assumptions may be a result of pride that one actually thinks they know another, and why someone else thinks, or does things, from observation only. Can anyone really know someone else, without first, interacting with them and second, asking questions instead of making assumptions?
If you truly love your brother, and something might come between you and your brother, one does not give up because you assume they do not wish to be loved. Even Our Father wishes to Love and be Loved, by all.100:4.6 You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments. It is not so important to love all men today as it is that each day you learn to love one more human being. If each day or each week you achieve an understanding of one more of your fellows, and if this is the limit of your ability, then you are certainly socializing and truly spiritualizing your personality.
One thing is for sure, you can’t will yourself into loving someone overnight, especially an enemy, or even a frenemy. You have to get to know someone before you can say you truly love them. Otherwise you’re kidding yourself, thinking you’re more righteous than you really are. Either that or you don’t really know what love is in the first place.
In learning to love your enemies you have to socialize your personality. Socializing your personality means sharing it with others. You have to put yourself out there, make an effort to understand other people and be understood yourself. It’s risky . . . takes courage.
How do you get to understand someone if you don’t interact with them person to person? Love involves a person to person relationship, as I understand it. Otherwise it’s just admiration or infatuation, or some other species of affection or fondness, most likely not based upon reality, but upon imagination.
I think people fear the idea of developing relationships. I know I do. Most people are untrustworthy. It’s hard to trust people enough to learn to love them. How many times did Jesus tell his apostles to trust one another . . . like a zillion. It’s not easy . . . takes work.
Being able to trust anyone, especially if they are a stranger and not really known by a trustor, becomes an act of “hope” in that, that trustee will be trustworthy of the trustor’s faith in them to perform as expected. Not knowing what to expect from another person is inevitably a fact of life but, we all hope that our expectations will be favorable. Therefore when meeting a stranger for the first time, even after, maybe, having communicated with that person over an online chat or dating site for a period of time, not knowing if what had been communicated or viewed is true or not, still becomes an uncertainty. But, as has been mentioned in this topic, until a face to face meeting has occurred or, some form of personal relationship occurs, can no one be sure of any outcome. Even then, circumstances around these relationships can be suspect until a mutual understand of personalities are enough to foster a measure of trust but, still can be disappointing because there is always uncertainty in all relationships. There is always hope, if there is a desire for, some form of give and take, whereas it has been mentioned that: “[. . .] If any man chooses to do the divine will, he shall know the way of truth. It is literally true, “Human things must be known in order to be loved, but divine things must be loved in order to be known.” But honest doubts and sincere questionings are not sin; such attitudes merely spell delay in the progressive journey toward perfection attainment. Childlike trust secures man’s entrance into the kingdom of heavenly ascent, but progress is wholly dependent on the vigorous exercise of the robust and confident faith of the full-grown man.” (102:1.1)
(51.4) 3:5.5 The uncertainties of life and the vicissitudes of existence do not in any manner contradict the concept of the universal sovereignty of God. All evolutionary creature life is beset by certain inevitabilities. Consider the following:
[. . .]
(51.7) 3:5.8 3. Is hope — the grandeur of trust — desirable? Then human existence must constantly be confronted with insecurities and recurrent uncertainties.It is noted below that one’s “character” is a form of “self-mastery” in that one must be worthy of trust before they can be able to trust others as they trust them self to perform with confidence, even in the face of possible “default or betrayal.” Anyone can try to trust others but it has been said: “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.”
(315.6) 28:6.134.The Solemnity of Trust. Trust is the crucial test of will creatures. Trustworthiness is the true measure of self-mastery, character. These seconaphim accomplish a double purpose in the economy of the superuniverses: They portray to all will creatures the sense of the obligation, sacredness, and solemnity of trust. At the same time they unerringly reflect to the governing authorities the exact trustworthiness of any candidate for confidence or trust.
(316.1) 28:6.14On Urantia, you grotesquely essay to read character and to estimate specific abilities, but on Uversa we actually do these things in perfection. These seconaphim weigh trustworthiness in the living scales of unerring character appraisal, and when they have looked at you, we have only to look at them to know the limitations of your ability to discharge responsibility, execute trust, and fulfill missions. Your assets of trustworthiness are clearly set forth alongside your liabilities of possible default or betrayal.
(316.2) 28:6.15It is the plan of your superiors to advance you by augmented trusts just as fast as your character is sufficiently developed to gracefully bear these added responsibilities, but to overload the individual only courts disaster and insures disappointment. And the mistake of placing responsibility prematurely upon either man or angel may be avoided by utilizing the ministry of these infallible estimators of the trust capacity of the individuals of time and space. These seconaphim ever accompany Those High in Authority, and never do these executives make assignments until their candidates have been weighed in the secoraphic balances and pronounced “not wanting.”
(1766.7) 159:3.11 Teach all believers to avoid leaning upon the insecure props of false sympathy. You cannot develop strong characters out of the indulgence of self-pity; honestly endeavor to avoid the deceptive influence of mere fellowship in misery. Extend sympathy to the brave and courageous while you withhold overmuch pity from those cowardly souls who only halfheartedly stand up before the trials of living. Offer not consolation to those who lie down before their troubles without a struggle. Sympathize not with your fellows merely that they may sympathize with you in return.
(1766.8) 159:3.12 When my children once become self-conscious of the assurance of the divine presence, such a faith will expand the mind, ennoble the soul, reinforce the personality, augment the happiness, deepen the spirit perception, and enhance the power to love and be loved.
(1767.1) 159:3.13 Teach all believers that those who enter the kingdom are not thereby rendered immune to the accidents of time or to the ordinary catastrophes of nature. Believing the gospel will not prevent getting into trouble, but it will insure that you shall be unafraid when trouble does overtake you. If you dare to believe in me and wholeheartedly proceed to follow after me, you shall most certainly by so doing enter upon the sure pathway to trouble. I do not promise to deliver you from the waters of adversity, but I do promise to go with you through all of them.
Dear Family,
Let me introduce my thoughts with this revelation: “Your inability or unwillingness to forgive your fellows is the measure of your immaturity, your failure to attain adult sympathy, understanding, and love. You hold grudges and nurse vengefulness in direct proportion to your ignorance of the inner nature and true longings of your children and your fellow beings. Love is the outworking of the divine and inner urge of life. It is founded on understanding, nurtured by unselfish service, and perfected in wisdom”.174:1.5
All yours, sharing is freshwater to me.
Love … refer to so much significations and values. Even a ”everlasting” perfectible ”value” throughout our endless ascension.
Nonetheless, our immaturity, adult sympathy, understanding and love we are ask from Our Father to reach in for it. Today, January 2 ND, despite imperfection or other-than-perfect. God adjusts with the mind of imperfection — with Urantia mortals through the Thought Adjusters. 3:2.5
Setting to do the will of God in 2016, day by day 24/7… is my ”ultimate” consecration. (point final/full stop). No ”nonetheless”, no ”despite off ” prevent Our Father to do has He plans.
You fellows Americans have a motto ”In God We Trust”. Words of Wisdom.
Hello André,
Thank you! This is a very nice affirmation of your faith and belief in the Father! This is inspiring to me!
As the Master told us, “Love God with all your heart and….” You know the remainder. Ultimate loyalty must be to God and not to religions of the world. Your reminder of 24/7 is valuable. To me this means relationship with God is always the present moment. We have our history and we are able to project to future moments, but relating to Him is always NOW! Even before we sleep we may tell the Father we want to do his will. Therefore our souls may be actively deciding for us as we take unconscious nightly sleep! Is that possible? Could our souls, relating to our Thought Adjusters, be helping us to love even our enemies while we sleep? If so, then advance decisions become very important!
Merci!
Mark,
…still inquiring about the role of the soul concerning it involvement ” be helping us to love even our enemies” … ?
But we know that there dwells within the human mind a fragment of God, and that there sojourns with the human soul the Spirit of Truth; and we further know that these spirit forces conspire to enable material man to grasp the reality of spiritual values and to comprehend the philosophy of universe meanings. But even more certainly we know that these spirits of the Divine Presence are able to assist man in the spiritual appropriation of all truth contributory to the enhancement of the ever-progressing reality of personal religious experience — God-consciousness.
0:12.13… it is as soul and mind are blessing host of those spirits of the Divine Presence.
who besides ourselves knows that we have truly loved our enemies? It really only matters to us. It only happens in our minds.
its like an act of recognition. Recognition of the God within that gives us something in common. How we interpret our relationship (if any) with our enemies and what we decide to do as a result of this relationship is what really matters.
jesus did say he would defend himself. What did that mean??? Hand to hand combat?? A test of skill with the sword?? I don’t think So but don’t you think he opened the possibility??
was Jesus defending himself when he allowed his enemies to kill him???
Gene,
I snipped this from your post: “…..what we decide to do as a result of this relationship is what really matters.”
I agree. As I see it, this is one aspect of human life Jesus modeled for civil and personal achievements. The Paradise Father projects life in the universes; the Sons go forth into local universes and proclaim the Father’s invitation-command to be perfect. Jesus modeled forgiveness and patience and refused to compromise, which led to his crucifixion. Loving our enemies is his model and I agree it is our personal decision to accept this model or to reject.
The only business anyone else has in this decision involves public, i.e. any community level civil relationships. This is why we have law, which in the early and mid planetary stages, exists to mitigate behavior. Law to prevent crime (misbehavior) is little needed in advance society such as we are destined to achieve in Light and Life planetary stages.
What do others say?
was Jesus defending himself when he allowed his enemies to kill him???
Yes, but His defense was an act of defiance against the status quo, in that what happened after His death brought Him closer to the problems which were the effect of those who where considered His enemies. Only a small amount of information has been presented in the Urantia Book which describes this event and what followed thereafter, which started for Jesus, a new sojourn with those who proceeded Him and allowed Michael to carry those souls, who died from the time of Adam, to a new abode in Havona, allowing Jesus to continue forward in order to fulfil His promise to partake of those things which His followers would shortly experience, having said: “but I do promise to go with you through all . . .”
was Jesus defending himself when he allowed his enemies to kill him???
Jesus surrendered everything into the hands of his Paradise Father.
136:6:2 Jesus thus settled upon another and consistent policy for the remainder of his earth labors. As far as his personal necessities were concerned, and in general even in his relations with other personalities, he now deliberately chose to pursue the path of normal earthly existence; he definitely decided against a policy which would transcend, violate, or outrage his own established natural laws. But he could not promise himself, as he had already been warned by his Personalized Adjuster, that these natural laws might not, in certain conceivable circumstances, be greatly accelerated. In principle, Jesus decided that his lifework should be organized and prosecuted in accordance with natural law and in harmony with the existing social organization. The Master thereby chose a program of living which was the equivalent of deciding against miracles and wonders. Again he decided in favor of “the Father’s will“; again he surrendered everything into the hands of his Paradise Father.was Jesus defending himself when he allowed his enemies to kill him???
I think this is an interesting question Gene. For one thing his enemies were clueless. The angry mob shouted “Crucify him! Crucify him! ” (185:5:9) And Pilate was feckless and irresponsible.
185:7:2 But Jesus could hardly answer such questions when asked by a man-fearing, weak, and vacillating judge who was so unjust as to subject him to flogging even when he had declared him innocent of all crime, and before he had been duly sentenced to die. Jesus looked Pilate straight in the face, but he did not answer him. Then said Pilate: “Do you refuse to speak to me? Do you not realize that I still have power to release you or to crucify you?” Then said Jesus: “You could have no power over me except it were permitted from above. You could exercise no authority over the Son of Man unless the Father in heaven allowed it. But you are not so guilty since you are ignorant of the gospel. He who betrayed me and he who delivered me to you, they have the greater sin.”The Father in heaven permitted him to be killed by his enemies. His life was a living demonstration of God’s will. He consecrated his life to the doing of the will of God. As for the angry mob? They didn’t know what they were doing if they were ignorant of the gospel. Those who had the greater sin were those who knew better.
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