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Although study of the Urantia Book takes lots of time and over the years gives a person some perspective in their personal search, I find that putting into practice the “stuff” that is needed for spiritual growth is a whole other matter.
In my own walk I always go back to the fruits of the spirit as a yardstick of progress. Seems that progress is very slow, taking years to make little changes. For me however, a small change in the right direction is a huge thing especially if it feels like it has lasting effect. It seems like I have been praying more these days and that is an encouraging thing.
I came across this quote at another forum that really hit home for me.
130:7.2 (1438.5) When Ganid inquired what one could do to make friends, having noticed that the majority of persons whom they chanced to meet were attracted to Jesus, his teacher said: “Become interested in your fellows; learn how to love them and watch for the opportunity to do something for them which you are sure they want done,” and then he quoted the olden Jewish proverb — “A man who would have friends must show himself friendly.”
Watch for the opportunity to do something for them which you are sure they want done……… I don’t know if I can ever recall having this attitude toward anyone, being that thoughtful. I always try to do good (sometimes having been the victim of those who would abuse my kindness….throwing my pearls to the swine) and I try to do unto others as I would have them do to me. But, it is not easy to practice this level of consideration.
My Father was kind in this respect and my Mother the opposite. Mom seemed to have no patience for the things my Father was want to do. I think that he took a lot of abuse from everyone in the family due to his nature. Sometimes I feel like him, feel like I get abused, taken advantage of.
Somehow there is a way of self mastery where you are wise as serpents yet harmless as doves and that process for me has been a long road of disappointment and sorrow since I am always trusting at first before I have even gauged if trust is warranted. Street wisdom is not my strong suit. Long story short my naivete has stepped in the way of my forward progress due to the fact that I am once bitten twice shy.
I would like to hear any suggestions for dealing with this issue and also if you have any suggestions for not taking the self too serious. I am going to include as a goal the lightening of my soul. I want to become way less serious about my problems and to focus more on the work that is placed in front of me that is to be done.
Thanks,
Paul
Hey Paul, thanks for sharing.
one thing I recall reading in the revelation that helps me is that what you do is less important that what you strive to do.
Welcome to this forum Paul.
. . . my naivete has stepped in the way of my forward progress due to the fact that I am once bitten twice shy.
On this point you’ve mentioned, I thought of a couple of things. First thing is a question – how do you know you’re not making forward progress? That olden Jewish Proverb is a good one.
Secondly, another question. Are you able to work on having fewer and fewer expectations concerning the outcome/s of situations or relationships? I’m only guessing about what’s getting you disappointed, but maybe it has to do with your expectations.
Wise old King Solomon said, ” Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Prov. 4:7
48:7:14 12. The greatest affliction of the cosmos is never to have been afflicted. Mortals only learn wisdom by experiencing tribulation.48:7:28 26. Knowledge is possessed only by sharing; it is safeguarded by wisdom and socialized by love.106:9:12 To material, evolutionary, finite creatures, a life predicated on the living of the Father’s will leads directly to the attainment of spirit supremacy in the personality arena and brings such creatures one step nearer the comprehension of the Father-Infinite. Such a Father life is one predicated on truth, sensitive to beauty, and dominated by goodness. Such a God-knowing person is inwardly illuminated by worship and outwardly devoted to the wholehearted service of the universal brotherhood of all personalities, a service ministry which is filled with mercy and motivated by love, while all these life qualities are unified in the evolving personality on ever-ascending levels of cosmic wisdom, self-realization, God-finding, and Father worship.
Mara asked:
On this point you’ve mentioned, I thought of a couple of things. First thing is a question – how do you know you’re not making forward progress? That olden Jewish Proverb is a good one.
Secondly, another question. Are you able to work on having fewer and fewer expectations concerning the outcome/s of situations or relationships?
I am making some progress, it’s just so slow.
As far as expectations are concerned, that’s a great point and I think that having less of them will go hand in hand with taking myself less serious and lightening up about outcomes etc. Thank you Mara for that insight, very much appreciated.
Thanks also Gene for that reminder, I do strive and make an effort to grow spiritually.
Paul
Truly excellent points Gene and Mara. I would add another thought to them.
If true goodness is unconscious, then it really shouldn’t matter to you personally what the consequences of your actions are. This is a bit confusing at first, so I’ll try to paint the picture.
If your intention in life is to perpetually seek truth, beauty and goodness in all your relations with people and things, (and this includes looking for opportunities to do something for others they want done), then when you act upon your intention, the consequences are God’s regardless of how it goes. That is not your concern really, so there should be no expectation and no self-criticism or judgment of how well you’ve done. Hopefully I’m making myself clear because I’m sure Van/nod is thinking, here we go again, don’t worry be happy. But I digress.
You do have to worry about your intentions, you do have to worry about staying focused on truth, beauty and goodness and you do have to worry about maintaining your courage to act on it. But after you act, don’t expect a big atta-boy from the universe. Don’t expect anything. If you’re expecting something in return, it’s not selfless, self-forgetful or unconscious. It means you’ve done something in order to get something back, which is the wrong intention. Hope that makes sense.
This attitude also eliminates the guilt that comes from naiveté. So you’ve been taken advantage of, who cares. Were your intentions to do what is true, beautiful and good? If so, then learn a little about your fellow man and how he reacts to truth, beauty and goodness, and move on. Some people are just not trustworthy and it’s not always easy to read them. Some are very cunning and try every sneaky maneuver in the book to scam you. I didn’t know my ex-husband was a con artist for years. It happens. But chalk it up to experience and the growth of wisdom. Don’t let it bog you down. It’s all good . . . really.
48:7.13 Life is but a day’s work – do it well. The act is ours; the consequences God’s.
Great comments all around!!
Paul….the “wise as” thing is difficult. We will gain wisdom by experience for a long time to come. Worry not about any mistakes made, in and with and by Sincerity as your motive and best intentions. Such prioritization will, over time, result in better and wiser choices regarding strategy and tactic at each intersection of choice.
Something to consider is our personal “false sympathy” (key word search recommended). We have to watch out for that! Excess sympathy for those who suffer the consequences of their own self centeredness and making choices based on the mind poisons of anxiety, fear, prejudice, anger, lust, etc.
Mind poisons Poison! Lack of sincerity fails. Selfishness retards. We must first see to our own and then discern in others.
Thanks for being here Paul…..and Julie!!!
Brad
Bradly wrote: Something to consider is our personal “false sympathy”Another great point! Have you ever wondered what the opposite of false sympathy is? I think it’s compassion. The world has these two words confused. I think the Church has muddled the situation by making Jesus out to be a sympathizer and thus holding humans to that standard, when in actuality, the standard is much higher. (Recall that sympathy is only level #2 on the golden rule scale of living.) Compassion is a form of pure or true sympathy because it requires true insight into the situation, an appreciation of both the person and the circumstances at hand, as well as the ability to recognize all this at the 6th level of the golden rule.
Did you ever notice that the word compassion is only mentioned in TUB when describing God the Father or Jesus? Compassion is the very nature of Jesus and he got it from his Father. We’re supposed to progress through the psychic circles with the goal of becoming more and more like them, which includes learning how to become compassionate. It’s a character trait of Divinity. Sympathy, I think, is the human version of it. So naturally, we’re not going to get the sympathy thing right the first time. There’s bound to be many feelings of false sympathy encountered along the way to learning compassion.
But the good news is that the Spirit of Truth came to teach us compassion. It’s possible if we listen.
181:2.15 When the new teacher comes, let him teach you the poise of compassion and that sympathetic tolerance which is born of sublime confidence in me and of perfect submission to the Father’s will.
“Become interested in your fellows; learn how to love them and watch for the opportunity to do something for them which you are sure they want done,”
I suppose the best place to get the hang of this, is in the context of the family. Parents do this automatically with their kids (usually). Between spouses, this may be the determining factor whether or not a marriage is successful and continues to be a framework for personal spiritual growth.
Becoming interested in our fellows alone will alleviate much of what is spiritually detrimental, self-centeredness. Thought and activity regarding others is always going to promote spiritual growth, when it’s sincerely altruistic.
Keeping the pearl from swine is very important. The hardest thing to do right, is to know that what’s needed is to do nothing at all.
Thanks Paul for putting it into practice with us.
In agreement with VanA…..the family unit is a great place/experience to consider false sympathy….parents must balance protecting our children FROM consequences of choice and allowing consequences of choice for teaching our children. I think most parents who are very good parents always feel confused and conflicted about this parenting choice. Bad parents are totally protective or totally indifferent which does little compared to the compassionate and reasoned methods of nurturing, protecting, AND consequence.
The same holds true in our communities and as we walk by. There are two broad categories of victims – self victimized and other victimized. Which is which in any/every situation/circumstance. How might we minister to either or to both but with this realization?
Also agree with Mara and Bonita about disappointment – disappointments most often are the fruit/result of mismanaged, inappropriate, or otherwise unreasonable or immature expectations!
Great topic!
Bradly wrote: . . . and allowing consequences of choice for teaching our children.This reminds me of a quote. It’s from the remnant of Melchizedek’s teaching found in Confucianism.131:9.4 Let compassion be a part of all punishment; in every way endeavor to make punishment a blessing.Can you imagine a child seeing punishment as a blessing? Well, it happened to me. My father, on quite a few occasions, would take me over his knee and give a hard spanking when I misbehaved. Every time he let me go, I’d turn around to see tears streaming down his face. It hit me hard at a very early age that my father was not spanking me out of anger, but out of love. Instead of thinking about holding a grudge or getting even, my thoughts were always turned to consider my actions viewed from his eyes, the eyes of a loving father who cried when I misbehaved. It was a blessing, it forced me to see the errors of my ways and to learn, to mature. It was a unique situation from back in the day when children were expected to be spanked for misbehaving. Nowadays, I doubt this could ever go down, but that it did for me was a real, honest to goodness blessing. A gift. Thanks Dad.On a family note: babysitting my great granddaughter for the first time today – 11 months old and the very first girl in the family.
I think she will always be an angel. Not possible to do wrong. From grandpa perspective anyway.
(142:2.2) “As time passes, fathers and their children will love each other more, and thus will be brought about a better understanding of the love of the Father in heaven for his children on earth. Remember, Jacob, that a good and true father not only loves his family as a whole—as a family—but he also truly loves and affectionately cares for each individual member.”
Manhood and womanhood are evolving in ways never seen before. In the context of society, womanhood is advancing while manhood is receding, sort of speak.
But in the realm of fatherhood, it’s very encouraging to see how engaged and loving new fathers are with their children. This is the sign that the actualization of great potential is in full swing.
Not to be a negative Nancy, but not all is in full swing. There are still fathers out there committing honor killings. Honor trumps love in some places, and that is truly a distortion of reality.
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