Love and Fear

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  • #31228
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    growthingrace
    Participant

    I was recently given a book by my therapist for parenting which posits that the two primary emotions at the root of all other emotions are love and fear.  I have been pondering this ever since and I am not sure if I agree with this or not, though it does seem that there is something to this.  I generally see love as something bigger than emotion, and different than emotion.  The couple of things I found in the UB, however, I interpreted as indicating that love and fear are opposite each other, and love as an emotion.  This morning I had the thought that while fear is our animal-based emotion, love is a superconscious emotion – perhaps.  I haven’t been on this forum for quite a while, but I thought perhaps some of you might have some ideas or wisdom about this you would be willing to share from your reading of the book.  Thoughts?

    #31230
    Mara
    Mara
    Participant

    One thought that comes to my mind from the UB says God is love, but love is not God.

    My next thought is the command of Jesus who says: “Fear not.”

    And remember those lines about the angels where the revelators say the angels have a hard time understanding why fear bulks so large in the human mind?

    I’m sure someone here will provide an extensive exegesis on your topic.

    Thanks for posting.

     

    #31235
    Bonita
    Bonita
    Participant

    They do say that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  (68:3.3; 131:2.6; 149:6.5)  Wisdom begins as an adjutant but an adjutant within the spirit circuits of the local universe and thus potentially reactive to spirit gravity.  Spirit gravity brings us directly to a loving person – Jesus, who teaches us to truly love.  It’s summed up in those six levels of the golden rule in paper 147.

     

    #31247
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    Keryn
    Participant

    I think this is a great example of the deficiencies of the english language.  I’ve often noticed that the english word “love” is woefully inadequate to express the magnitude, and yet simultaneously, triviality of the things we use it often to express.  For example, I may say “I love potato chips!”  and people know that means that I really enjoy eating that item.  But I also say that I love my children.  I love my spouse.  But the emotions that I feel for each of them are not the same at all.  I can also say that I love my co-workers, but then again, not at all the same as the love I have for my husband …. my mother … etc.

    As far as parenting is concerned, I imagine that the two ‘primary emotions that are the root of all emotions’ would be better characterized as positive and negative, rather than love and fear.  TUB might describe those two categories as ‘real’ and ‘unreal’ …. but of course, a parenting book wouldn’t say so.  ;-)

    #31272
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    Mark606
    Participant

    Grace,

    There seems to be little agreement as to the definition of emotion, other than it being instinctive in the sense that all humans share similar emotions. Without delving into psychology, I think we can safely equate emotions with feelings or sentiments. This appears to be the general meaning of the term as it is used in the Urantia Book.

    In the 1970s, there were thought to be six basic emotions, but a recent article in Forbes suggests there are 27 distinct emotions. As a point of interest, each list contains fear but neither of them specifically includes love, which seems a little odd in light of the position taken by your book. It could be that love is excluded in these lists because of the many different meanings attached, as Keryn mentioned, although the same logic could be extended to the word “fear.” However, Jesus does mention “the emotions of love” at one point in his discourse.

    Many emotions appear to be based on fear, such as anxiety, envy, and revenge, for example. And other emotions are based on some expression of love, such as romance, sexuality, or adoration. But much of the difference when labeling emotions appears to result from the different premises of varying classification systems. I’m not sure what advantage is to be gained from a love/fear dichotomy, except perhaps to identify and discard all fear-based emotion.

    I don’t think emotions are to be entirely avoided. The book alludes to spiritual emotions in the worlds to come, feelings often associated with worship. But down here on earth, the book gives much credence to emotional development and control, with the ultimate aim of achieving emotional maturity. So it seems that, in the pursuit of personality balance, emotions are something we need to keep in check.

    I would agree that love is something bigger than emotion. While both love and fear are human emotions, there are varying degrees of emotional response. We know God is the source of all love, but it seems unlikely that God’s love is an emotional love in the human sense. Jesus portrayed God as the Father not just because parental love is the highest human concept of love but also because the ideal parental love is governed by clear-headed wisdom, justice, and mercy.

    As you suggest, fear is animal-based and love is spiritual, or God-based. On a spiritual level, I doubt that fear exists at all. There is also a significant difference in reality levels between love and fear, as Keryn implied. The book tells us repeatedly that indulging fear, along with several other “mental poisons,” greatly affects our ability to make spiritual progress, not just because these emotions make us socially dysfunctional but also because the associated states of mind are “unreal” and therefore spiritually void.

    But even the emotion of love can be degraded in meaning and expression. Love must be spiritually qualified in order to become a reality.

    “Love is the highest motivation which man may utilize in his universe ascent. But love, divested of truth, beauty, and goodness, is only a sentiment, a philosophic distortion, a psychic illusion, a spiritual deception.” 196.3.29

     

    #31277
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    Gene
    Participant

    In regard to love:

    0:1.17 [Part I]
    Divinity is creature comprehensible as truth, beauty, and goodness; correlated in personality as love, mercy, and ministry; disclosed on impersonal levels as justice, power, and sovereignty.
    i interpret love as expressed above as an existential reality. Why do we think about it as an emotion? Is the act of using our personality to correlate Divinity as love, mercy, and ministry an emotional act? Don’t sound reasonable to me.
    As for fear-it’s a necessary motivator, probably linked to the lowest Adjutants. It makes animals run and helps some who may find themselves in fox holes find God.
    #31279
    Bradly
    Bradly
    Participant

    Key word search for emotion OR emotions:

     

    https://urantia-association.org/search/?zoom_sort=2&zoom_query=emotion+OR+emotions&zoom_per_page=100&zoom_and=0&zoom_cat%5B%5D=-1

     

    I think we have higher and lower emotions that are determined by the nature of our dual nature which is the source of the emotion.  The spirit nature has one set and quality of emotion while the material/animal nature has another.

    Anxiety is a form of fear that has no value I do not think.  The fear of uncertainty demonstrates an immaturity and lack of faith in Source and Destiny inherencies.

    #31288
    Bonita
    Bonita
    Participant

    Bradly wrote: Anxiety is a form of fear that has no value I do not think.

    Apparently God thinks anxiety has some value:

    23:2.12 Your anxieties and sorrows, your trials and disappointments, are just as much a part of the divine plan on your sphere as are the exquisite perfection and infinite adaptation of all things to their supreme purpose on the worlds of the central and perfect universe.

    Anxiety plays a role in fostering evolution:

    86:2.1 Anxiety was a natural state of the savage mind. When men and women fall victims to excessive anxiety, they are simply reverting to the natural estate of their far-distant ancestors; and when anxiety becomes actually painful, it inhibits activity and unfailingly institutes evolutionary changes and biologic adaptations. Pain and suffering are essential to progressive evolution.

    Anxiety is also the source of future fun:

    48:4.5 1. Reminiscent jests. Quips growing out of the memories of past episodes in one’s experience of combat, struggle, and sometimes fearfulness, and ofttimes foolish and childish anxiety.

    48:4.6 2. Current humor. The senselessness of much that so often causes us serious concern, the joy at discovering the unimportance of much of our serious personal anxiety. We are most appreciative of this phase of humor when we are best able to discount the anxieties of the present in favor of the certainties of the future.

    Van, a most mature individual, suffered from anxiety:

    67:2.6 For more than seven years this struggle continued. Not until every personality concerned had made a final decision, would or did the authorities of Edentia interfere or intervene. Not until then did Van and his loyal associates receive vindication and release from their prolonged anxiety and intolerable suspense.

    Even Jesus experienced anxiety:

    127:4.7 Simon was a well-meaning boy but too much of a dreamer. He was slow in getting settled down in life and was the cause of considerable anxiety to Jesus and Mary.

    Anxiety is one of the problems arising out of having a dual mind. It can’t be avoided entirely:

    111:6.1 Many of the temporal troubles of mortal man grow out of his twofold relation to the cosmos. Man is a part of nature — he exists in nature — and yet he is able to transcend nature. Man is finite, but he is indwelt by a spark of infinity. Such a dual situation not only provides the potential for evil but also engenders many social and moral situations fraught with much uncertainty and not a little anxiety.

    Thoughtless, reactionary and purely emotional anxiety is useless. But anxiety resulting from the confusion and conflict of problem-solving thought, does have potential value.  The potential value comes from the presence of choice, and choosing God’s will is what relieves anxiety.  The secret is to learn how not to dwell on anxiety but rather to use it as a signal for the need to seek God’s will instead.  The mind must be trained to avoid the emotional trap of reactionary anxiety and instead use it as a fulcrum for wisdom to tilt the mind toward spirit guidance.

     

    #31294
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    growthingrace
    Participant

    Thank you all for your responses, they have greatly contributed to my thoughts on this.  I found this statement particularly helpful:

    “Thoughtless, reactionary and purely emotional anxiety is useless. But anxiety resulting from the confusion and conflict of problem-solving thought, does have potential value. The potential value comes from the presence of choice, and choosing God’s will is what relieves anxiety. The secret is to learn how not to dwell on anxiety but rather to use it as a signal for the need to seek God’s will instead. The mind must be trained to avoid the emotional trap of reactionary anxiety and instead use it as a fulcrum for wisdom to tilt the mind toward spirit guidance.” – Bonita

    What I am sitting with right now is the idea that perhaps I need to learn to not be afraid of being afraid!  I do think fear has its place – it has pretty much played an integral part of humans staying alive up until this point.  But I do see that much of the purpose of our life on this planet is to learn that there is something above and beyond our fears, especially the ultimate fear of death.  Therefore, to learn to recognize our anxieties and fears and learn to reach for the divine, all that is true, beautiful and good, that must be a part of the lesson.  I am still not sure if love is at the base of that process, but I think it is definitely at the end of that process.

    Thank you again for your help in teasing these apart.  I will look further into all the references you all shared.

    #31295
    Mara
    Mara
    Participant

    Thank you all for your responses, they have greatly contributed to my thoughts on this.  I found this statement particularly helpful: “Thoughtless, reactionary and purely emotional anxiety is useless. But anxiety resulting from the confusion and conflict of problem-solving thought, does have potential value. The potential value comes from the presence of choice, and choosing God’s will is what relieves anxiety. The secret is to learn how not to dwell on anxiety but rather to use it as a signal for the need to seek God’s will instead. The mind must be trained to avoid the emotional trap of reactionary anxiety and instead use it as a fulcrum for wisdom to tilt the mind toward spirit guidance.” – Bonita

    What I am sitting with right now is the idea that perhaps I need to learn to not be afraid of being afraid!  I do think fear has its place – it has pretty much played an integral part of humans staying alive up until this point.  But I do see that much of the purpose of our life on this planet is to learn that there is something above and beyond our fears, especially the ultimate fear of death.  Therefore, to learn to recognize our anxieties and fears and learn to reach for the divine, all that is true, beautiful and good, that must be a part of the lesson.  I am still not sure if love is at the base of that process, but I think it is definitely at the end of that process. Thank you again for your help in teasing these apart.  I will look further into all the references you all shared.

    Over and over again I have uttered the serenity prayer to help me get a grip on my mind – which mind I willingly or habitually let roam down the useless anxiety-trails of all the horrible things my mind could dream up about personal matters.

     God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

    #31296
    Bradly
    Bradly
    Participant

    Greetings!!

    As you ponder fear and anxiety, I suggest you consider a study of “uncertainty”.  I think the uncertainties of life contribute mightily to one’s anxiety and fears and even dread for many people.  The UB perplexed me for years and then challenged me to understand and then truly rewarded me with such relief from this source.  The idea that we should enjoy, embrace, and be exhilarated by uncertainty was so foreign for so long…what a paradox!

    And then one day I began to understand and appreciate two related facts:  first, there is no adventure possible without uncertainty – it is foundational and fundamental TO adventure – the unknowns and unknowable prior to actual experience!  Second, faith in God and destiny can deliver absolute confidence and certainty in ultimate outcomes in the same moment and at the same time as we face the uncertainties of short term outcomes in the choices we make now and today and in the future!  Confidence within the uncertainty of the adventure of living!

    Uncertainty is something we will have, inevitably, for a long, long time to come in the adventures ahead.  Wisdom is a function of experience and neither of those is possible without uncertainty.  Unpredictability and unintended consequences and unforeseen outcomes and the ripples of repercussion over time and distance are all part of learning from and by options, choices,  free will and making decisions.

     

    26:5.3 [Part I]
    That, then, is the primary or elementary course which confronts the faith-tested and much-traveled pilgrims of space. But long before reaching Havona, these ascendant children of time have learned to feast upon uncertainty, to fatten upon disappointment, to enthuse over apparent defeat, to invigorate in the presence of difficulties, to exhibit indomitable courage in the face of immensity, and to exercise unconquerable faith when confronted with the challenge of the inexplicable. Long since, the battle cry of these pilgrims became: “In liaison with God, nothing — absolutely nothing — is impossible.”

    103:8.5 [Part III]
    The certainty of the God-knowing religionist should not be disturbed by the uncertainty of the doubting materialist; rather should the uncertainty of the unbeliever be mightily challenged by the profound faith and unshakable certainty of the experiential believer.

    108:6.8 [Part III]
    You humans have begun an endless unfolding of an almost infinite panorama, a limitless expanding of never-ending, ever-widening spheres of opportunity for exhilarating service, matchless adventure, sublime uncertainty, and boundless attainment. When the clouds gather overhead, your faith should accept the fact of the presence of the indwelling Adjuster, and thus you should be able to look beyond the mists of mortal uncertainty into the clear shining of the sun of eternal righteousness on the beckoning heights of the mansion worlds of Satania.

    Prior to this slowly developing realization, I had gripped the teaching by Jesus that believers and the faithful need not worry about our daily bread as God always sees to our material needs and keeps us in his hand no matter the material calamity, tragedy, or suffering that might befall us.  Worry Not!  I understood that my faith was tested by my anxiety.  I also understood that my anxiety helped me work and plan and strategize and prioritize my choices in life.  But it needed to be controlled and minimized so it did not control my mind, my life, and my outcomes!  (We are what we think!)

    But to relish and embrace and enthuse about uncertainty??!!  That’s different.  And difficult.  Until it’s not!!  Best wishes as you learn to embrace uncertainty…as we all will….sooner or later!  = )

    Keyword search for “uncertainty”:

    https://urantia-association.org/search/?zoom_sort=2&zoom_query=uncertainty&zoom_per_page=100&zoom_and=0&zoom_cat%5B%5D=-1

    And “uncertainties”:

    https://urantia-association.org/search/?zoom_sort=2&zoom_query=uncertainties&zoom_per_page=100&zoom_and=0&zoom_cat%5B%5D=-1

    3:5.8 [Part I]
    3. Is hope — the grandeur of trust — desirable? Then human existence must constantly be confronted with insecurities and recurrent uncertainties.

    Obviously, I still have much to learn about anxiety!  But I remember this piece of mota!!

     

    48:7.21 [Part II]
    19. Anxiety must be abandoned. The disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come.

    Which always reminds me of an old saying (by Twain I think…or Will Rogers??):  “Nine out of ten of the worst things that ever happened to me….never did happen!!!!!!”

     

    :good:

    #31298
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    growthingrace
    Participant

    I must admit, I sometimes question my own progress on my path when I read quotes from the book such as you just contributed.  While they fill me with inspiration and excitement, I don’t necessarily relate to them.  When I am in the midst of the most recent stress, I don’t know that I ever feel exhilarated!  To embrace uncertainty feels far away in my journey, but you give me hope that I can get there.

     

    #31300
    Bradly
    Bradly
    Participant

    I only suggest this as a topic for study and issue for prayer and contemplation….my best wishes to you.

    And remember it is your direction, hopes, and ideals that are the truest measure of our progress!

    ;-)

    #31302
    Bonita
    Bonita
    Participant

    There is satisfaction in laboring to choose wisely even if the choice turns out not to be perfect.  It’s what we’re striving to become that really matters.  The experience of living is most important, learning from the choices we make and always striving for better ones.  The will to get back up and carry on is a measure of courage, faith and trust in the universal plan.  Don’t worry so much about each little decision in life since it’s the totality that really matters, the direction you’re going, not the speed by which you get there.  Be kind to yourself and do your best.

    111:1.5  What you are today is not so important as what you are becoming day by day and in eternity.

    147:5.7 Said Jesus: “My children, if there exists a true and living connection between the child and the Father, the child is certain to progress continuously toward the Father’s ideals. True, the child may at first make slow progress, but the progress is none the less sure. The important thing is not the rapidity of your progress but rather its certainty. Your actual achievement is not so important as the fact that the direction of your progress is Godward. What you are becoming day by day is of infinitely more importance than what you are today.”

    48:6.35  . . . From them you will learn to let pressure develop stability and certainty; to be faithful and earnest and, withal, cheerful; to accept challenges without complaint and to face difficulties and uncertainties without fear. They will ask: If you fail, will you rise indomitably to try anew? If you succeed, will you maintain a well-balanced poise – a stabilized and spiritualized attitude – throughout every effort in the long struggle to break the fetters of material inertia, to attain the freedom of spirit existence?

    156:5.8 Do not become discouraged by the discovery that you are human. Human nature may tend toward evil, but it is not inherently sinful. Be not downcast by your failure wholly to forget some of your regrettable experiences. The mistakes which you fail to forget in time will be forgotten in eternity. Lighten your burdens of soul by speedily acquiring a long-distance view of your destiny, a universe expansion of your career.

    12:7.7 The will of God does not uniformly prevail in the heart of the God-seeking material mortal, but if the time frame is enlarged beyond the moment to embrace the whole of the first life, then does God’s will become increasingly discernible in the spirit fruits which are borne in the lives of the spirit-led children of God. And then, if human life is further enlarged to include the morontia experience, the divine will is observed to shine brighter and brighter in the spiritualizing acts of those creatures of time who have begun to taste the divine delights of experiencing the relationship of the personality of man with the personality of the Universal Father.

    #31304
    André
    André
    Participant

    Dear Bonita,

    With one voice, you resume well, maturity well our journey by means of God’s Perfect plan.

    The whys and wherefores in our relalive reality.

    Kindly,

    André

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