Home › Forums › Support & Suggestions › administration, I would like to formally lodge a complaint
-
AuthorPosts
-
AnonymousInactiveSomething’s amiss here.
That’s for sure Bradly, from your most resent victim: (I have removed or distorted the members name, to not focus on her.)
Bradley wrote: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Rxxxxxxx was being disingenuous with this statement and that she doesn’t feel confused at all (although, in truth, confusion is exactly what is happening); rather, posted this thread with the specific intent of convincing others that her memories of past lives are explained in TUB.—- Bradly”
“You do not know me, you do not know anything about me, yet you somehow presume to know what my motivations are. Perhaps my virtual silence throughout this thread has spoken wrongly to you. First, before I continue, I would like to clue you in as to a little bit about me. I am 43 years old. I am a Registered Nurse, graduating with highest honors in the BSN program. I taught pre-health sciences at a local university. I published my first novel in 2013, and when I get time, I will complete the second. I have one daughter, who is 12. Now for the not so mundane…. Addison’s is only one of a slew of autoimmune diseases I have been blessed with, making it difficult to function much of the time due to extremely low blood pressure and a severe case of depression (probably related to the combo of Addison’s, Hashimoto’s, vitiligo, psoriasis, pernicious anemia, and whatever other gland or organ my immune system has decided to destroy since my last dr. visit). In addition to failing health, some recent blessings have been the following….. I lost my beautiful sister in a car accident the same day my mother was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, my husband suffers from the severest case of ulcerative colitis any of his doctors have ever seen (Dr’s from several university hospitals included) and I care for him, my daughter is showing strong signs she is following in my footsteps respecting depression and skin autoimmunities. I do not even have to go into the day to day, everybody-has-it problems of what it takes to earn the privilege of merely breathing on this earth. (All this preface later relevant).
Addison’s, for those who don’t know, results when the immune system has destroyed the adrenals….. what comes from adrenals? Adrenaline. Meaning stress hormones. The tiny chemical messengers that help the body handle physical and mental stress. So now I will address your last response with this in mind….. I do not deal well with stress, and I tend to be knocked off balance easily. (Also, I forgot to tell you, I feel I am a genuine person, always have been, it’s how I was raised, and it really bothers me…. with or without adrenaline….. when someone who knows nothing about me presumes my intentions). Needless to say (so why say it, right?), I take extreme offense at your comment. I am not and have never been one to shadily or sneakily manipulate others with ulterior intentions. I love the fact that you even took the time to utilize the italic button to show just exactly how serious you are in getting across to others that I had the “specific intent” to convince others that my PAST LIFE memories were explained in the UB.
Firstly, you clearly did not read my posts thoroughly. If you had, you would see that I said I DO NOT HAVE PAST LIFE MEMORIES, BUT MEMORIES FROM PRE-BIRTH IN THIS LIFE. Said another way… MEMORIES OF HAPPENINGS BEFORE I WAS BORN HERE….happenings NOT ON EARTH, so how could they be past life memories? Memories that would lead me to believe I was preparing to come here, TRAVELING to come to the “place where we could be born.” And I use quotes because this is the way I would describe it after I could talk and tell family members. The times I would ponder these memories could only have been at age 3 or less (this I know because other details related to these ponderings happened in a house we moved out of when I was 3 years old).
Secondly, my memories were an afterthought, Bradly. I don’t know what mistrustful operations you must have going on inside yourself, but I can tell you my motivation was focused solely on the desire to understand the Urantia Book’s content on reincarnation….NOT my own–and NOT to “convince” others of anything whatsoever regarding my experiences– but in general. I said I would appreciate discussion on the subject, and I have very much up until this point. If it is not permissible to bring some self to a conversation here, please, I wish I had been informed. Just my nurse’s training kicking in here… you know, when you make personal connections with a patient or nurse trainee (i.e. “student”) in order to establish, maintain, or strengthen a trust relationship because both of you are committed to the teaching/learning of a specific task or theory.
You do know that in the essay I posted by Dean White, that was not my own ponderings throughout, right? I am just trying to figure out why you came to the conclusion about me that you did. And why on earth you would choose to actually include it in a post. What positive outcome could that possibly have? Doesn’t matter and I won’t be around to find out. One thing I have learned is to weed out stresses.
It is good to see such a tight bond with people of a study as I see here. But in the future, as one teacher to another, please don’t offend your students unless you know what you are talking about. It used to take a good deal to get to me; in fact, even though I have always been a raw nerve, 5 years ago I would have laughed at this dig. But with all I have on top of me at this point in time (and yes, I know EVERYONE has stress and sick relatives, family deaths, illnesses, and other “crosses to bear,” believe me, I pray for them daily), I feel like I am perched at the end of the plank in a stormy sea with a razor sharp axe hanging right above my head on a weakened thread. Ready to fall, the both of us. As a result, I have noticed, things go right through me to the core and twist. (Well okay, not “things,” but baseless accusations.)
The other question I posed, by the way, about armageddon/antichrist, etc. That was for a friend. No interest of mine. I told him what a success this site has been with people so willing to offer knowledge and opinions, NONJUDGMENTALLY, and he asked me if I would pose that question to see the discussion on it. I will now unsubscribe, unenlist, and return to another urantia group I have found, and I will not ask any questions until I have taken the time to read all about it. See, I can learn!!! Apparently just didn’t follow the rules here. Okay, now I’m getting ridiculous. Wishing all of you a future full of happiness and love. Good day!
Darn it, right when I was feeling thankful for you guys……”
BradlyParticipantAnother false accusation Midi/Cali!! As the links below will show, the statement – “Bradley wrote: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Rxxxxxxx was being disingenuous with this statement and that she doesn’t feel confused at all (although, in truth, confusion is exactly what is happening); rather, posted this thread with the specific intent of convincing others that her memories of past lives are explained in TUB.—- Bradly” – is not mine at all but by another poster entirely. R’s response was to me mistakenly, her presuming it was my post – it was not!
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/6/#post-26312
Here’s the link to MY post, quoting the original:
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/7/#post-26322
And here’s R’s response in her mistaken belief that it was my post (it was not):
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/7/#post-26330
And here is the original poster’s correction to R’s mistake:
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/8/#post-26337
Here is my post expressing great distress over the misunderstanding and supporting R’s topic and participation:
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/8/#post-26344
Finally, here’s a post worthy of consideration by the mods here, including a review of all your historical hatreds, accusations, and personal attacks….in addition to all your falsehoods regarding the UB:
http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/reincarnation/page/8/#post-26345
Thanks again for the clear evidence of your perspective, your motives, and your agenda here among this body of students. It seems this topic started by BB’s legitimate complaint has revealed another source of consideration and ‘mod’eration here! This most recent slander of yours is an outright lie…and obviously so!
Laughing out loud….please do continue….
AnonymousInactiveAnother false accusation Midi/Cali!! As the links below will show, the statement – “Bradley wrote: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Rxxxxxxx was being disingenuous with this statement and that she doesn’t feel confused at all (although, in truth, confusion is exactly what is happening); rather, posted this thread with the specific intent of convincing others that her memories of past lives are explained in TUB.—- Bradly” – is not mine at all but by another poster entirely. R’s response was to me mistakenly, her presuming it was my post – it was not!
It makes little difference who made the post, that member associated it to you, where if one actually looks at the entire topic, she would not have associated it to you, had you not stood out as an associated contributor to context. Even after the correction was made by the actual contributor, there was no further response by the victim, she was finished here.
The main point is that very few new members who come to this forum, stay for any length of time especially when they present contrary questions and reply for what ever reason. Unless they stay with the minority status quo, they are pressured to leave, even if not through your word-smithing, where you say that you are bad for what you may say and then stick in the knife, and go for the final kill, or so I think and read.
Again, it would seem that the moderators do not read these posts, and only act when someone makes a complaint, as they say the squeaky wheel gets the most grease, but even then the cause is never addressed, and as I said this shows the attitude of the Urantia Association to allow it to continue.
BonitaParticipant. . . Bonita has demonstrated an amazing transformation in her own maturation . . .
Naw, ’tain’t so. What you have mistakenly identified as maturation is actually a profound disinterest in anything that doesn’t make sense.
BradlyParticipantAnother false accusation Midi/Cali!! As the links below will show, the statement – “Bradley wrote: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Rxxxxxxx was being disingenuous with this statement and that she doesn’t feel confused at all (although, in truth, confusion is exactly what is happening); rather, posted this thread with the specific intent of convincing others that her memories of past lives are explained in TUB.—- Bradly” – is not mine at all but by another poster entirely. R’s response was to me mistakenly, her presuming it was my post – it was not!
It makes little difference who made the post, that member associated it to you, where if one actually looks at the entire topic, she would not have associated it to you, had you not stood out as an associated contributor to context. Even after the correction was made by the actual contributor, there was no further response by the victim, she was finished here. The main point is that very few new members who come to this forum, stay for any length of time especially when they present contrary questions and reply for what ever reason. Unless they stay with the minority status quo, they are pressured to leave, even if not through your word-smithing, where you say that you are bad for what you may say and then stick in the knife, and go for the final kill, or so I think and read. Again, it would seem that the moderators do not read these posts, and only act when someone makes a complaint, as they say the squeaky wheel gets the most grease, but even then the cause is never addressed, and as I said this shows the attitude of the Urantia Association to allow it to continue.
Midi…I shall not say anything further in this matter except thank you for clearly expressing your opinions regarding the Association, the Forum moderators, and those students who post here. A clear example of the perspective and attitude many here have endured for many years.
While BB’s complaint is specific and accurate (I do dispute the broader claim related to 2+ years ago), yours is quite another kettle of fish, as they say, and provides the mods here with an exceptionally difficult issue for their consideration. It is best if that be left to them. Best wishes to all parties involved.
AnonymousInactiveThis is a request for this forum moderators to intervene in what has for years, but most recently, been an attach against my person on this forum, in that the Forum member Bradly is harassing me. I am requesting that you intervene. This is ridiculous. I have attempted to match insult to insult, didn’t work, attempted to present reason and logic, in my online position, didn’t work, asked to present any arguments as or in a debate format, was refused, and told that anything I would present will be met with hostility, directed specifically against me personally. I have attempted to present that this attitude reflects back to the Urantia Association, and since there has been no intervention by moderators here I must assume that Bradly’s conduct is condoned by the Association and the moderators. Nevertheless, my privacy and personal information has been violated which is not validated, thereby having received other insults from others members do to Bradly’s stating that I am the worst of all mankind, and implied, through implication in his hostility, that it would be better that I was dead or should die. Even if not specifically so stated, that is how I had perceived his attacks through his words, and wording.
Therefore, I will take this directly to the Association, as well but, I do not anticipate a solution, thereby will I then take this matter to my attorney’s, whom I have been in council with, to see who can be held responsible for damages.
Thank you in advance.
Moderator-2ModeratorMy dear fellow readers and students of The Urantia Book,
Any actions that the moderators take or fail to take in their role as maintainers of peace on this forum should not be seen as reflecting the attitude of Urantia Association. The rules that govern the conduct of forum participants, as stated on this website, have been formulated by the Association but the moderators take full responsibility for their interpretation and implementation of those rules when dealing with formal complaints. We have been criticised for being invisible and unresponsive when threads turn into personal attacks and feelings run high. The reality is that there are only two of us and we don’t always get to read every post in every thread. Consequently, we sometimes don’t become aware of a problem until we receive a formal complaint.
BB, with respect to your specific complaint against Bradly, I believe you are justified in feeling “harassed”. Bradly, your formal apology to BB is most welcome and appreciated. As moderators, we live in hope that members will sort out their differences in a mature and Jesusonian manner. A Melchizedek of Nebadon made a pointed reference to Jesus’ love of men and his ability to defuse potential strife by patiently and sympathetically seeking the viewpoint and true motivation of one who may inspire irritation and resentment:
In physical life the senses tell of the existence of things; mind discovers the reality of meanings; but the spiritual experience reveals to the individual the true values of life. These high levels of human living are attained in the supreme love of God and in the unselfish love of man. If you love your fellow men, you must have discovered their values. Jesus loved men so much because he placed such a high value upon them. You can best discover values in your associates by discovering their motivation. If some one irritates you, causes feelings of resentment, you should sympathetically seek to discern his viewpoint, his reasons for such objectionable conduct. If once you understand your neighbor, you will become tolerant, and this tolerance will grow into friendship and ripen into love. [100:4.4; 1098.1]
To be fair, the vast majority of interactions between members on the forum are conducted in a spirit of friendship and mutual support. It is disappointing when we see disputes escalating into full-blown slanging matches. It is inevitable that misunderstandings will occur due to the inherent limitations of the social media format. It is easy to make negative assumptions about the ‘other’ based on their personality and communication styles. We might also feel offended by statements that we perceive as provocative and/or inflammatory; we may feel fully justified in righting a wrong, defending a truth, or fighting for a righteous cause. But we need to be careful about how we do this! Rodan gave us a timely warning about the hazards of engaging in a “battle for the right”. It often results in a “Pyrrhic victory”!
Another requirement for the attainment of maturity is the co-operative adjustment of social groups to an ever-changing environment. The immature individual arouses the antagonisms of his fellows; the mature man wins the hearty co-operation of his associates, thereby many times multiplying the fruits of his life efforts.
My philosophy tells me that there are times when I must fight, if need be, for the defense of my concept of righteousness, but I doubt not that the Master, with a more mature type of personality, would easily and gracefully gain an equal victory by his superior and winsome technique of tact and tolerance. All too often, when we battle for the right, it turns out that both the victor and the vanquished have sustained defeat. I heard the Master say only yesterday that the “wise man, when seeking entrance through the locked door, would not destroy the door but rather would seek for the key wherewith to unlock it.” Too often we engage in a fight merely to convince ourselves that we are not afraid. [160:3.3,4; 1778:1,2]
So rather than take sides in a dispute, we as moderators would prefer to give counsel based on the precepts and principles of the Fifth Epochal Revelation and then hope that the parties involved will take them to heart and correct their own behaviour. If a member flagrantly or persistently contravenes the rules, we will implement the 3-strike policy regarding misconduct. First, a private warning; second a 30-day ban from the forum; third infraction within a year may result in the person being banned from the forum for a period of six months. We obviously don’t want to have to resort to such punitive methods.
Would the readership prefer us to intervene in a thread as soon as we detect a deterioration in the decorum of the conversation?
Feel free to offer your suggestions.
Your fellow servant of the Master….
Moderator 2
Richard E WarrenParticipant…Would the readership prefer us to intervene in a thread as soon as we detect a deterioration in the decorum of the conversation? Feel free to offer your suggestions. Your fellow servant of the Master…. Moderator 2
It would be preferable if every member of this Forum stick to one simple rule. Write about issues, the subject of the thread, not each other.
Anytime the dialog drifts into an evaluation of another person, their character or motivations, it is in error. You may attack an idea, if you must attack something, but never the person expressing it.
.
Richard E Warren
Brooklyn_bornParticipantToo long ago to remember details but the moderators were asked to intervene then as well. Bradly, honestly, I do not think you will change. You are set in your way based on the behavior you repeat with me every time we get into a debate; this has been going on for years now. Listen, we are not going to see eye to eye on what TUB states. You take a literal approach to the text and I choose to do otherwise. Why make it personal? That is what I do not get with you. You come across as a religious extremist, my dude. Seriously. People have a right to disagree with my beliefs and challenge them as what I post to the board is fair game. It’s the personal statements that we can do without. But like I said, based on how you have behaved with me over the years, I do not think you will change..This board needs an ignore feature. That would solve a lot of problems. Administration, perhaps you could consider adding such feature to this forum. It is an effective tool. I have seen it work well on other forums. Participants have the option to ignore posts they deem harassing, argumentative and insulting to their own views on TUB.Based on BB’s assertion above that Bonita and I were responsible for…”I left the board a couple years ago because of Bradly and Bonita’s bullying and harassing.”, I went back to BB’s last topics from a couple of years ago to remind me of that which I did not recall, my or Bonita’s bullying and harassing BB….ever. I cannot find any evidence of such cause or complaint regarding his decision to leave us for a season of nearly 2.5 years. Indeed, I found just the opposite. So I look forward to those historical records which might lend credibility to his claim above. Indeed, the last 3-6 topics started by BB (pages 10-12 in General Discussion topics) were quite interesting and BB seemed pleased with both Bonita and myself and many other posters here for the discussion and references to the UB. Some did get contentious…but with one who has been blocked here 2 times (emanny, Sabinatu – the same person who changed identities within the same discussion and one who has posted as loucol, Manny, JohnnyBones, and now as toto – the Ankle Biter I call him – who has been kicked off and blocked at TB at least 5 times in 5 years) and with Midi….but not between Bonita or I and BB. The link below goes to an interesting and lengthy (and often contentious) discussion as a good example of the relationships back then. http://urantia-association.org/forums/topic/did-the-midwayers-narrate-church-history-as-war-in-heaven/ You will notice BB’s intensity to understand the UB’s contents and a variety of interesting topics he began in his quest for truth and fact in the contents of the UB. Something, over time, seems to have turned BB’s attention less toward understanding and discussion and more toward perceived, contrived, and hoped for contradictions in the UB. Don’t know what happened or is happening now….but Bonita and I stand wrongly accused by BB’s claim of being driven off by our brutality!! Something’s amiss here.
BB
Brooklyn_bornParticipantExactly, Rick.…Would the readership prefer us to intervene in a thread as soon as we detect a deterioration in the decorum of the conversation? Feel free to offer your suggestions. Your fellow servant of the Master…. Moderator 2
It would be preferable if every member of this Forum stick to one simple rule. Write about issues, the subject of the thread, not each other.
Anytime the dialog drifts into an evaluation of another person, their character or motivations, it is in error. You may attack an idea, if you must attack something, but never the person expressing it.
.
BB
BonitaParticipantBrooklyn_born wrote: Bradly, honestly, I do not think you will change. You are set in your way based on the behavior you repeat with me every time we get into a debate; this has been going on for years now.Brooklyn_born wrote: You come across as a religious extremist, my dude.Aren’t both of the above sentences harassing, argumentative and insulting personal attacks on Bradly? Doesn’t he deserve an apology too? Calling Bradly an extremist who will not change is no different than calling him a rigid, religious radical! That’s personal!
Brooklyn_bornParticipantThis is not a normal post about TUB, Bonita. This discussion is about personality conflicts on the board. I am stating my feelings about Bradly’s behavior toward me and what I have come to expect of him and my perception of him based on it. This thread is the appropriate place to air out these feelings. I hope that clears it up for you (although I doubt it since you’re just looking to justify his behavior smdh).Brooklyn_born wrote: Bradly, honestly, I do not think you will change. You are set in your way based on the behavior you repeat with me every time we get into a debate; this has been going on for years now.Brooklyn_born wrote: You come across as a religious extremist, my dude.Aren’t both of the above sentences harassing, argumentative and insulting personal attacks on Bradly? Doesn’t he deserve an apology too? Calling Bradly an extremist who will not change is no different than calling him a rigid, religious radical! That’s personal!BB
MaraParticipantIt would be preferable if every member of this Forum stick to one simple rule. Write about issues, the subject of the thread, not each other.
Anytime the dialog drifts into an evaluation of another person, their character or motivations, it is in error. You may attack an idea, if you must attack something, but never the person expressing it.
My preference is in line with yours, Rick. “Write about issues, the subject of the thread, not each other.”
As to whether the moderators should be more visible? No. The majority of the people who post here are seasoned readers. Seasoned readers are conversant with the spirit of the teachings of the book – the very book and the very teachings this forum is devoted to study. It is the seasoned readers themselves who should be the <moderators> here, because they well know the pitfalls of going out into the weeds with other readers! It is foolish for a seasoned reader to get personally embroiled with another reader. Becoming embroiled with someone, as this thread demonstrates, is evidence to me that all participants have taken the low road. Seasoned readers should become expert in diffusing conflict. We don’t have to agree with each other’s ideas.
To reiterate, seasoned readers should become expert in diffusing conflict. Your demeanor shows through your words. Make peace, not war. The peacemakers shall be called the sons of God.
140:5.18 [Part IV]3. “Happy are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” Jesus’ hearers were longing for military deliverance, not for peacemakers. But Jesus’ peace is not of the pacific and negative kind. In the face of trials and persecutions he said, “My peace I leave with you.” “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” This is the peace that prevents ruinous conflicts. Personal peace integrates personality. Social peace prevents fear, greed, and anger. Political peace prevents race antagonisms, national suspicions, and war. Peacemaking is the cure of distrust and suspicion.
BonitaParticipantI am stating my feelings about Bradly’s behavior toward me . . .
This is not a psychological support group. It’s a Urantia Book study group. Your feelings and emotions are immaterial to the study of TUB.
. . . and what I have come to expect of him and my perception of him based on it.
Happiness comes from having fewer expectations regarding other people. Happiness comes from lovingly serving other people. Personally, my thoughts would be centered on how I can help the other person.
I hope that clears it up for you (although I doubt it since you’re just looking to justify his behavior smdh).
Another personal attack and a presumption of motivation. My feelings are not hurt, but I would accept your apology. My motivation is to describe what I see, which is the fact that BOTH parties are guilty of personal attacks and apologies from BOTH parties are in order.
Brooklyn_bornParticipantwhatever you say, Bonita Anyhow, I am not apologizing to Bradly. I did him no harm. I will apologize to you for my last remark, however.I am stating my feelings about Bradly’s behavior toward me . . .
This is not a psychological support group. It’s a Urantia Book study group. Your feelings and emotions are immaterial to the study of TUB.
. . . and what I have come to expect of him and my perception of him based on it.
Happiness comes from having fewer expectations regarding other people. Happiness comes from lovingly serving other people. Personally, my thoughts would be centered on how I can help the other person.
I hope that clears it up for you (although I doubt it since you’re just looking to justify his behavior smdh).
Another personal attack and a presumption of motivation. My feelings are not hurt, but I would accept your apology. My motivation is to describe what I see, which is the fact that BOTH parties are guilty of personal attacks and apologies from BOTH parties are in order.
BB
-
AuthorPosts
Login to reply to this topic.
Not registered? Sign up here.